Today I have been working on trying to get myself up to date on my sleep. I don’t understand why I have been so tired. This past week was very hard to get through. I think I say this all the time yet, this week was hard just because it was a up and then down kind of week.
Something that I really like was that I got to cook again this past week. I find that I like to cook when I have the whole place to myself. So on Wed I try to cook a meal. Some times it is really good other times it’s not that great. This past week it was chicken and rice. I can say that I need more work on that one. The week before that I made soup that was so good. This coming up week I don’t know what I’m going to cook.
Another really good thing is that I got to meet with the new work coach by myself. I think I’m going to like this one. It’s going to be good to work with some one that is not older then me by years. She is younger them me but I really think that she is going to put some youth back in my life.
So for the not so good things is that it’s cold and my body is stopping me at ever move. I have been hurting more and more. Spring is not going to get her fast enough. I am trying to find ways to keep me going in the cold. All the doctors have been very happy with what I have been doing to try and stay worm. So talking about the doctors they have been all over me about getting to the pool but I keep telling them it’s been just to cold for me to get there. Some of them understand why I have not been going, but there is always one that says the better to get in the pool. To those doctors I say I’m trying to keep moving. I’m going to be moving doctors again. However I’m not changing, I’m going to be moving with her. I am going to be going out to St Paul. Right now she is out of town for the month and will be back next month. She will be working out of were she is right now until the summer. At the end of her lease she will be moving closer to home.
Other then that there is not much more to write down. So I’m going to close this post and just say stay worm all.
Oh yes I’m writing this on Poster it’s my new app to write my blogs.
Here I am writing my first post for the year. I have already had many things to think about this year. That is why I have not been able to write as much as I would have liked to. Starting last Nov I have been listening to audiobooks and have been able to listen to them many times. I have started a new blog and I love it. I am so happy that I started when I did. It is a blog that makes me post every day. I also have to take a picture every day or use a picture that I have taken. The new blog is called My own Pictures of the day. As for other things it just has gotten off to a ruff start. My old boss was diagnosed with brain cancer right before christmas. It is stage four cancer and so I have been thinking of him and his family. There was a group of us that sent him a fruit basket. It was not much but I think he knows that we are all thinking of him. I am also getting a new work coach this year. I thought with this news I would be all upset with it. However, a part of me is just happy and knows that this is something that I can do because I have done it before. I am still trying to get the Christmas letter out, I think they are going to turn in to New years note.
Now for the good news 🙂
I have now worked at the bank long enough that i get more time off. So with that in mind I will be taking more time off in the summer to get to the cabin. I have been able to get to the pool a few more times this winter. I have also been able to drop an appointment this year. I think the big news is just that I have found that I love my audiobooks. I can work and listen to them and it makes the time go faster.
So with a lot of hope and praying I will be able to come and write again in my blog more then one time a month. P)
This year I have been trying to do something different. I have been working on coming to a place were I don’t just say something before I think of it. I’m trying to stay OPEN. So as I have been working on staying open to the thoughts of others. I will be also staying open to the voice of God.
Wait let me try to put this in words that make sense to you and me. Last year I tried to hear the voice of God. I don’t know when I started this but it had to have been some time when Father at church was talking about being open to the Holy Spirit. Well later that summer I can say that I had a feeling of something coming over me at church. I know it was at one of the low times of the summer. It was during the time when the trial was or the time when I know that something was not right with the doctor that hurt me. Yet, I was very much trying to stay open to the Holy Spirit and at the lowest of low days I felt like God was telling me “it’s ok my child. You are hurting today and I will be hear with you as you try and hold on to what you know is true.” Yes I know that it is somthing that I should not be talking about openly but I think you will get it.
The last thing is to stay open to people that I don’t like or understand. This is more to the work coach, In the past few months she has been trying to get me to think of other ways of looking at my money or job. I have been very much I don’t want to hear what you have to say so I’m just going to say NO. Well then when I would talk to other people they would say to me the same things that she was saying and I would go and do what they said and I would find that it was a better thing. It could be just about anything that she would say and then when some one other then her would say the same thing but in a diffrent way it would be this big and great thing.
So, To be open to God and his word is something that I am going to do with the work coach. I feel like God sent the Holy Spirit to say yes I am here but you need to hear me in your everyday life. You need to be willing to be open to hear me in places you don’t think I will be. So to be Open this year is what I’m going to try and do.
I don’t talk about the government in my blog at all. I try to keep that to myself. I don’t think I have to tell every one my thoughts and my feelings about the government. However, it is now having a bigger effect on me then I would like to say. Minnesota’s Government is shut down. I know it has been a very big thing in the news and things. I still have a hard time with why it had to come to this.
At this time because of it I don’t have a work coach. I am so upset about this. I know that I have been not liking this new one that much but come on I still need her for asking things. I run a lot of things past her all the time. It’s hard to know that when I get home and I get back to work I will not have a work coach. I think I have had a work coach for over 5 years. I know it’s hard to believe that I have had one and that I needed one for that long. Yet, I think my work coach’s have been with me through a lot with me. I think I have gotten more out of having one. I have been able to see them and ask them so many questions. I just can’t see work with out having one, What to do is all I ask what to do.
So until this whole things with the government gets figured out I have no work coach. I’m worried, scared, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Yet, I am a person that will try very hard to work to get through this whole problem. This is much more than what our government is doing.
One of the other things that I see myself using my work coach for is a lot of the behind the work things. I know I call her a bit here and there. But I still need a person to run things buy, if you know what I mean. So Thank you to the government for shutting down. You are not only hurting the people who are out of work you are also hurting the people that are still working and that need the help of state workers.
I had a hard time last week talking to the work coach and we were talking about my life at work. I’m getting ready to learn some new things and I’m trying to leave an open mind about it. However, the one person that I don’t have to keep a good face on should be the work coach, right? Well that is not what happened. She said that because, I was so worried about learning this new thing. That the anxiety was getting the better of me and “anxiety” is my disability. The only thing I could think of this no it’s a part of it. I have C P as my disability however don’t start saying that everything is because of my disability. Some of what I have is just life and I know it, I get it but you should be here to help me be the best person at work that I can be.
So anything that I said was taken in a way that I felt that she was and did keep saying it’s the anxiety your disability. By the end of the hour I was stiff and mad. She did not even see that I was in pain. I had told her about the pain and how it was hurting my work. I’m having pain in both legs and it’s just there. I have called all the doctors about it and they all say the same thing. However, I thought she should know about this. So back to us leaving she did not see or look at me and my face of pain.
Something is telling me that I’m glad that she didn’t see me because she would have said oh that is just your disability.
I have to say in this post that yes I have a disability but it has only been a bit that I have been able to say I have cerebral Palsy and really believe that I have it. I’m still learning how to understand what that means to me and how I live my life. I am still learning all the things that I can do and all the things that I just have to do in a different way. I will always get the job done in one way or another it’s just how am I going to do it.
So as life keeps going on I will still be a person in learning. Yet, please don’t say it’s because you have a disability. It’s a part of me it’s not all of me. I know I have to learn things about the
disability,, the Cerebral Palsy. So if you can help that would be great. Oh yes, you all are great for reading about the up’s and down’s of a person that is just trying to live in the world of today.
It’s been such a long time scents I got to learn something new at work. So right now learning new things are so much fun. I get to challenge myself with many new and fun things. I know that I need to keep doing them so that I can remember them but really I think I can do it. Well, at least I know I can do it. I love what I do at the bank. I have never really said anything bad about the bank and the job that I’m in right now. But I do know there is going to be change that is going to happen. Life is full of change right??
So learning new things at work is going to give me more things to keep my mind going and learning. So thanks for believing in me to be able to learn and change with the work around me. Thank you for believe tha a person with a disability can change. Thanks for helping with the new work coach.
As you all know that I have been trying to get to a warm pool, Well I did and I have been able to get there right after work. The pool is down town and it’s at the hospital. So, if something happens I will be right there lol. I only been going for a week but a week is better than waiting for more paper work to come through. Because I am going there and I’m using the pool at a time that most people are not using for what I am using it for. I had to get the OK from the higher-ups,
So this is what I am going to try to do:
Pool Monday and Wednesday, and then all the other appointments will happen around that. This is good because on those two days I was going to P T. I don’t have to move things around too much. Now that I say that I have to say that my new work coach is going to be a bit harder. I am going to have to work with her. She would love to see me on Tuesdays at 2 and I have an appointment that day. I will not change it because I did it one time in the past and it made my whole week mest up. The work coach is in ST Paul on Fridays so that day is out for her. I was thinking that I would be able to see her on Thursdays the weeks I don’t have an appointment. I was thinking that if it comes down to me having to go to the pool on Fridays I will do that. However it’s not what I would like to do. When summer comes around I will not want to do anything on Fridays because I will want to get to the cabin as fast as I can, Getting out-of-town on Fridays will be the only thing I would be doing. Now I will not be going up every weekend but a lot of them. I will be trying to get up there. Time away from the city is the best time. And with my vacation I just use it as very long weekends.
If you have not heard my podcast in the last two months. I put two up in the past week. They are just the same things. I’m trying to get back into the whole podcasting thing. However I really took a break from it because I did not no how to start it. So, in the two shows that I put out I started with something that explains what the podcast is about. You know letting people know who I am and why I am doing the podcast. I know that my podcasting days have because very spotty. I’m going to be working on that this year. I’m getting to the point were I don’t like to do all the fancy things. Just get it out and get it done.