Category Archives: life things

Learning Ally also known as Recording for the blind and dyslexic


               I have been using Learning Ally so long that when I was first introduced to this great program it was called recording for the blind and dyslexic. So during this post I will be using recording for the blind and dyslexic because that is what I grew up using. Even though they are now Learning Ally.

               I am writing about this program because I have used them through out my life. When I was in middle school I was given the gift of recording for the blind and dyslexic. At that time in my life I know it was going to help with my school work and I  would be more independent . I think and believe that my parents wanted me to be self-sufficient. I could get all my school books on tape. There was four sides on one tape, so I had to use a special tape player. I had a tape player at home so I was able to take my tapes home and do my homework at home and was very much a normal kid. During the summer I was able to order books to listen to just for fun.  This was the first time that I was able to read books on my own. Up until this time my mother would tape books for me to listen to on my own. She was always willing to read out loud to me. Being able to listen to a book with out my mom was something I was excited about. There was one down side to getting books on tape. There where no trending books like the baby sitters club. 

               My family moved the summer of my 8th grade year. I thought I was going to have to give up this new found independents. I was told that I would not have to give this up at all I got to keep my tape player and I was able to continue using recording for the blind and dyslexic through high school. I had to still use the tape player at home to get homework done. When I graduated I ones again thcought I would have to stop using my membership. I did not understand how a life time membership really worked. 

               Through College recording for the blind and dyslexic played a smaller part of my life. It was hard to get my textbooks on tape because the schools would always be using the up to date textbooks. I didn’t have much time to sit at home and listen to books on tape. However, the new thing was buying a CD player from recording for the blind and dyslexic and getting books on cd. I did that for a few years.  I was disappointed that I could not get books that where on the New York best seller list. So I spend my own money to get books to listen to. In my mind this was just one more thing that I did to keep my love of reading books.  After college I started using Audible to listen to books. I only had to take my phone with me where ever I went.  No more tapes or cd’s. 

               It has been about 18 years since college, and I still had my tape player. During this last time I moved I was going to send my tape player back to the state. When I called recording for the blind and dyslexic I learned that they where now called Learning Ally and they were not using the tape player any more. The person on the phone told me that I could just get rid of my tape player. I thought that was weird, but I did what they said. 

               This past summer when Harry Potter and the chosen child came out. I learned that the book was not going to be on audible and there was no way I was going to be able to read it. I was very disappointed at the whole thing. I started to read other books from Nora Roberts, Ally Condie, Diana Gabaldon and many other books. I work at a job that I can listen to music and books all day. I have a lot of books through audible. I get to listen to them over and over again. It’s the best thing I have ever bought 

               Last week I was thinking about Learning Ally just because. I went looking on the App Store and Oh my goodness there was an app for Learning Ally. I down loaded it and I was very happy to see it was very different from what I remember. It is all Digital now. The big question was “does learning Ally have the new Harry Potter book?” The answer was YES!!! so for the last week I have been able to follow along and listen to Harry Potter and the chosen child. I still can’t get a lot of my favorite authors, full Series of books, or more trending books for adults. So I will be keeping my membership for Audible. 


Here I am


So for a long time I have been trying to find time to jus sit and blog about what I have been thinking about. Every time I do sit down and blog something comes up and I forget to do it. My life has been up and down in the past months. I have wanted to stop just doing life and really I want to live life. I have come to this thought because having dinner with my sister really got me to thinking. I am not a young person any more. I am a person that is living in my 30’s. Some of the best times that I remember of my mom and dad when they where in there 30’s. I remember camping with my family  in CA. Taking lunch on the weekend and going up to the mountain and eating and them playing with my sister. These are things that I find that I think of my parents when they had to be in there 3o’s, From what I remember my mom and dad had it all together. So why is it that all the people around me seen to have it together. 30 is when you are supposed to  be doing things that you have been working on for ever. All the hard work that you put in at the beginning of your life is supposed to be paying off. Well that is not what is going on for me. I feel like I’m never going to get a better job and I don’t think I’m going to get any more like of money at my job. A house is so out of my hands and it will never happen.

Coming to this spot is a hard thing to understand. I don’t want to think I am a person that will never get all the things I think a 30-year-old person would have but looking at where I am and were I would like to be is a big change. There are some things that I can’t get around and I don’t even thing I can change in this life time,

But I can say that I am going to take the things that I do have control over like my money and move to a spot that I will not be in debt. This is something that is going to take time and I have to learn some big things about this. But I am going to work on it. I am Also going to be working on putting some money away so when I get older I will have money for that. I am hoping that I can get my credit card debt gone is 5 years. That would take me to me doing 41. So then I would have time to put as much money as can between 41 and 50. If I can start putting more than my $25 away  each month I would be set. I am going to try to put $30.00


This past week there was a big shake up at work. This is the first time that I have had people who I work with get laid off.  It was the hardest thing ever in my life. I know people get let go all the time. I have even had people I know get let go. I have seen with my on eyes whole departments move from one state to another. Yet last week was harder for me because one moment I am talking to people and the next moment they are being told they don’t have a job. I can tell you that it’s a very hard thing to take in. So that is why I would like to work on my budget and stick to it.


There is still so much more that I can talk about. But that will have to wait. .

The government shut down.


I don’t talk about the government in my blog at all. I try to keep that to myself. I don’t think I have to tell every one my thoughts and my feelings about the government. However, it is now having a bigger effect on me then I would like to say. Minnesota’s Government is shut down. I know it has been a very big thing in the news and things. I still have a hard time with why it had to come to this.

At this time because of it I don’t have a work coach. I am so upset about this. I know that I have been not liking this new one that much but come on I still need her for asking things. I run a lot of things past her all the time. It’s hard to know that when I get home and I get back to work I will not have a work coach. I think I have had a work coach for over 5 years. I know it’s hard to believe that I have had one and that I needed one for that long. Yet, I think my work coach’s have been with me through a lot with me. I think I have gotten more out of having one. I have been able to see them and ask them so many questions. I just can’t see work with out having one, What  to do is all I ask what to do.

So until this whole things with the government gets figured out I have no work coach. I’m worried, scared, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Yet, I am a person that will try very hard to work to get through this whole problem. This is much more than what our government is doing.

One of the other things that I see myself using my work coach for is a lot of the behind the work things. I know I call her a bit here and there. But I still need a person to run things buy, if you know what I mean. So Thank you to the government for shutting down. You are not only hurting the people who are out of work you are also hurting the people that are still working and that need the help of state workers.

Thinking back


Ok I have to say that I think I found something out and the thing is that I did not believe what was going on the first year after the trial. I just put a good face on and I just went with it. I don’t even know if I was me around my family, friends or my boyfriend. The first year was just me trying to understand what just happened. It was a lot of how can I have gone through what I just went through. Life had changed for the worries because I told the truth and I’m not getting anything back from it. I lose a doctor and I called him out on something big. Yet, I’m still in pain and no one can help. The biggest thing was I was trying to keep this doctor from hurting other people, and now know one knows what this doctor can do to others, because he got is lisents back

So life goes on and year two happens. At this time I am still saying to myself “I’m the one that lost more than a doctor. I lost a person that can help me and put me back together. I am starting to shift the way I think about the whole thing. I start to put things that I am seeing him all over the place. I feel like he is always looking at me. He is around me 24/7. There is no way to make the feeling go away. I still think that I’m the one that coste him to do this very bad thing to me. One of the big questions that I still ask my self is why me? What did I do to make him do what he did to me. So yes,  year two was a lot of blaming myself. I still do and I might always do a bit of that. I think I’m past the whole thing of keeping him away from other people. This hurts me a lot because again know one will know about what he did to me.

So on Saterday will be 3 years sents I stoped him from hurting me. I hope I feel something a bit better then when the two year mark came and went on May 26th. I will keep working hard on this whole thing of what the doctor did to me. Some of the things that will help me get through or past this thing will be when I can say his name. Another thing will be when I can say what he did to me. I’m still working hard on the whole writing him to ask why.

people that get it and people that don’t get it


Hi all, it’s been a very hard day but I have made it one more day closer to the time off. I would like to just say right now that there are people in this world that don’t get what I and others are working through. These people are the people who think they know everything and anything. However, when something like what I am fighting they are the same people who say and do all the wrong things and just make it worse for us who are trying to get through to-day and the next day of life. These people are ones that I would just like to say ‘you have not a clue on what I am going through’

Most people who I talk to and all of my doctors are great. I have the best medical team. They do and understand who I am and how I feel. There are even times that they remember things that I would have never thought about again. So thank you to those people! There are people on the medical team that I still have to show them how much pain I’m in. I really find that these people are willing to learn what I am going through. They are willing to lissen to what I have to say or they are willing to see the tears come from the hurt that I have. Thank you so much to those who keep learning and not shuting me out. Or telling me to just get over it. Thank you to those who are learning. It’s not just these people that have and are learning that it’s a true hurt. My family and a lot of my friend have been able to see it and hear it.

The people that just don’t what to hear it or see it make me mad. It’s almost like if it did not happen to them it well not hurt them. I feel sorry for these kind of people. I feel like they have not seen the world around them. I hurt for them. I think it’s because I have been there and it not a fun place to be. I know that the places that I have to go to are hard and they are placed that I need a hand and not a hurtful saying. Like just get over it. Or just move on. Some times I would like to tell them you come and walk with me for a week and hear everything that I am thinking and what I have to say to myself to get through today and then you might be able to see that what you are saying is not a good thing.

You need to know who gets it and who just doesn’t get it when you have to walk down a path by your self. The only way that I am going to be able to get past this pain is if I know who understands and who is just saying they understand.



The word “change” is a word that I have not been very good at. I thought I was getting better at it but every now and again it gets to me. I know that life is all about change and I know that we can’t stop change but it’s so hard for me. I think it has been a hard thing for a very long, long time. I was just a person that could put a good face on and just go with it, even though it was so hard for me.

Well, there is going to be change again. I’m happy yet at the same time I’m very sad to see a great group of hard-working people move on. We were always called the “MA’s” and now that it is changing it will be hard to know that the new people are not going to be the same.

It was at least two maybe three years that this group of people had been working together. And now it’s time for one of us to go and be used in a new and exciting job. It just so happens that the other person is going to go on a three-week trip. So that will leave me to work. Now with all of that we do have new people coming in and that is great but the timing is not so good.

So, again Change and I are having a bit of a throw down and I think change is starting to win. Don’t worry I think I am going to try and let change win, maybe!

Where were you 9 years ago?


Today is a day that will live in my mind for ever. Like most of us we are thinking about September 11, 2001 it was 9 years ago. I would just like to put my two cents in to the mix of all blogs that are going to be put out today. All the podcasts that will talk about it today also. and finely the T V and news people who are going to be all over this day.

9 years ago I was still living at home and had just met a guy that I fell over hands and knees for. I was finishing a paper for one of my college classes and did not know what was going on. The only thing that I really had my mind on was getting this paper done and in. I had told myself that I would be able to look at what ever was going on after I got the paper done. As the time was ticking down and I was almost ready for class. The computer that I was using was starting to go a bit slow and I didn’t have time for it. I had to run to another computer and print my paper out. I got it printed. I went to class getting down the hall was hard but I was telling people who I needed to get to class so if you did not want to get run down my me you might want to get out of my way.

The teacher did not come to class but he had a file for the paper’s that had to be in at the begining of the class.  I still did not know what was going on but was very mad at the teacher because I really needed to find out what people were looking at. So around 10:00 I got to a T V and saw what every one had seen live. My mind was just running and I didn’t believe what I was seeing.

So 9 years ago I was writing a paper. What were you doing on this day???