This year has been one that has had many good things. I have moved out of an apartment this year. I had some really good times in the apartment. I still can’t believe we where in that place for more then 10 years. My husben and I are very happy to say we have a house. My job is going well. Over all this year has been very good. With a new beginning, I thought that I would really give it a go with blogging again. This time around I was thinking that I would not take it so seriously.Yes there are some big things that I might talk about but I will not try and blog every day, my life dosen’t have the time to blog that much. With that said I have a few days off work and for christmas I got a new Ipad that I love. I have been talking to my husben about trying to find a new or old thing to help me unwind. I was also trying to explain myself to someone about who I am and who I was at one time. When I was talking to this person I told her that I was a blogger at sone time. I loved to blog years and years ago. It was a great way for me to express myself. I stopped blogging because I didn’t find it fun anymore. Life changes and I moved on from that. She said to me have your ever thought you would go back to it? I said no. however, the more I think about it, the more I think I might like to do it again.
This past summer I took a class of photography and think I’m getting really good. So I might share photos here or on my other blog. I might even share them on both. The teacher of the class said something to the effect of it’s great to take the pictures but if know one gets to see tham then why take them. So for Christmas I framed a picture that I took for my parents. It looked really good. I’m sorry I didn’t get a pitcher of it I am hoping that mom or dad will send me a picture of it.
I can’t believe that it is already the end of the year. I don’t even know where the year has gone. I have made some big golds for next year. Here they are.
N O T T O A N Y T H I N G N E W ! ! !
I am not doing anything new for next year. Here is the reason why. I have started new things already. I have been working on walking more at work, going up and down 5 flights of stairs for about a few months now. I’m getting better at walking up and down them, I think. I am not going fast and I’m not holding on the side for dear life any more. It’s still very hard for me but I am trying to make it a “can do” thing again and not a “can’t do” thing.
I have also started a new blog. (That is why I have not written in a long time) I got the idea from a friend on face book. It was hard to start but it’s up and going. You can find it here it is called “my own pictures of the day.” As you all know I love to take pictures and I just don’t know what to do with them all. So I try very hard to post a picture that I have on that blog. So that is where I have been hanging out. It’s not a big blog and it’s still has some work to be done on it. Yet, its keeping me blogging and posting.
As I have been trying to break my world of work and personal time. I have been asked to find something that I like to do. Well that was hard to think of. What do I like to do on my own time? This is a hard question. Then I thought of the things that I have been doing like taking pitchers and sending them to friends and family. I also love to change them and make them different. I have been thinking of my podcast, and then I thought about my blog. I find that I don’t write because I don’t think that what I have to say is that great. Yet, at the same time I feel like I am saying the same thing over and over again. I started my blog in 2008 and it was a new way to get my thoughts out. I didn’t have many people who I felt comfortable talking to. Finding the right words were hard for me. So blogging was great because I could take my time and find the right words to put down. So my blog was the best thing durning that time.
I have been doing a lot of growing in the past two years and I have found some great friends from work. My faith has changed in a good way. I am a happier person today. So my blog has done what I wanted it to do and so I stopped writing.
Now I have been asked to find something that I like to do in my personal time. Blogging, podcast and taking pitchers are some of the things that I have been thinking about. Then I thought really hard and blogging just comes to mind. So that is why I’m here. However, I have a wrist is not doing well at all. I am mad and upset that this has happened to me. I know I’m getting older and things happen but come on. I’m only 35.
Today, I was going through my e-mail. I have a few people who I get their blog post to my e-mail. One of my very good friends Eunice put a post out. She has a blog that is called As life flutters by. . . She is a very good friend and a very long time friend. Just a bit of some background. she and I went to High School together. She is a very great and wonderful person. When we were in school I looked up to her. And really I’m still look up to her in ways that only I know, she does not even how she still changes my life.
Ok so what is her post have to do with this one. Well she hand a link in her post that went to Sarah and her blog. When I read Sarah’s blog post (flower). It Hit me in the face. Not like what I think Eunice had but it took me from a place of not liking my life and brought it back to here is where I am for a reason. My life has been up and down. My family moved all over the place. I never really wanted to come to MN. My father still does not get it, at least I don’t think he gets it. Every thing changed when my family moved the last time. I have never been very happy here in MN. However, after reading Sarah’s post I have roots In MN. I have people who love me. Now that I have to learn how to deal with my Cerebral Palsy as an adult. I’m glad that I get to stand up and learn about it. I am not in a place were I am just another person with a disability. I’m not just another person with Cerebral Palsy. I am a person that is living out her life in ways that I every thought I would. I am doing never thing that I would have love to do.
I am a very different person that likes to stick up for now. I am getting help with learning that I am not just another person. I am a person that will not just sit down and let life passed before me. I am a person that still loves to do what I can and if I can’t do it I will find a way. It might take you 2 steps. Yet, I will have to take 4 steps to get the end of what ever “we” are trying to get done.
The last thing I would like to say is thank you to Eunice and to Sarah for showing me that I’m in the right place. I’m in a place that is hard but I am in the place that I needed to be.
I am trying to get back in to blogging. I am finding it hard to write again. At one time I was so good at it. I found it easier than talking. Yet, now I just find it’s hard to do both. What I would like to say is not always what comes out of my mouth. Some time I think it’s just because of me getting older, there are other times that I think it’s because I am trying to deal with the disability.
Now lets me tell you something that I think is wrong with me right now. Now that I am learning how to deal with my C P I find myself saying oh it’s because of the disability. In some ways yes it is but in other ways I don’t think so. This past summer I did very good with a lot of things. Other things were hard. I could see that Oh 1+1=2. However, there are still times that I don’t see it. And that is when I really don’t see that 2+2=4. Now some of this is just be and my very long learning curve. But other times it’s me not wanting to learn how to deal with the C P. So I think that is why I have been so quite this past summer. I have always known that I had the C P. Now I’m learning how to deal with as an older person. So it’s been hard for me to just sit in it. So besides the PTSD that I’m still working on. I have tried to put it a side (which is hard) and looking and just be with the C P. It’s just so hard for me. I’m learning that it is a lot of things that I’m trying to work on.
Ok here we go, sit down and get something good to eat and start reading. I have a lot to say and not much time. My life is much the same as it was last week however, I didn’t have as many appointments. I don’t think I like that, why you might ask well, I just come home and sleep. Yes for the past week I think I have gotten more sleep them ever. My body is so used to going all the time that when I get home I don’t have time to eat and view TV and do all the things that a person that is going to college gets to do. I am coming home most time after appointments and have a few mints to farm my farm ville, say Hi to my loving boyfriend, and then go to bed. It’s just the way my life is. Well for some very strange reason something that I am not saying is bad all that much, this week I had one appointment.
I really did not know what to do with my self, Really. I tried to do some of the same things that I would have done after the appointments but I was still getting home at a time that was over well-meaning early for me.
I have to also say that my I touch can play MOVIES AND TV SHOWS. This is not good I can view girly show again and the b friend can just not know that I’m doing it again. I love those kind of shows. One you can have a bad day and start watching something like that and then if people see you crying you can just say it’s the show. I’m fine, even if you are not. The best cover up ever.
I also have some great friends, I don’t know if I have really had the time to talk about how my friends are the best. You know when you move to a new job or a new place to live and you always say call me, or e-mail me and it never happens. Well I have always been blessed with some very great friends through out my life. People that I have known my whole life. Others who I have known for more than half my life, and then there are the people who you just meet and know you are going to be great friends. Well as I have said in the past I have two co-workers that are so good to me. I love them so very much. I would do anything for them. I am able to talk to them and I’m able to listen to them. I know what they are saying is something coming from the heart. So when I was talking to one of them one day I was just saying how much my error’s have been going up. How much I was getting down on me. And if she could help me find a way to help me. You know what she said to me. Mary as your co-worker and friend this is what I think you should do.. . I have taken into account of what she had said to me and even though my time is going down I don’t see as many errors in my work. So thank you to that one co-worker.
It’s still very cold out but I have been able to make some very good strides in getting out of my brace. I just need to keep going on it. Soon I will be out and I will be bloging all about it. I can’t wait until the day that I can come here and say again I’m out of the brace. Life will be so good. The other thing is that if I can get my movies from DVD to my I Touch I will be even more happy. I am using Handbrake that a person had said they use. I think this person is a very good person and that would not lead me a stray.
So I think that is kind of what has been on my mind for the past few days. I know I have not been here as much as I would like to. I also have not done somthing that I said I was going to do. A pitcher a day. I just have not been into it lately. I think that S.A.D is starting to set in. People up here where we don’t get any sun get this some times. And if you know you get it there is more power to you. It’s those people that don’t know they have it. It’s hard to say that you have it because you don’t want to look like you are not perfect. Well I have to say I’m not perfect and that word is not in the words that I can use.
You know it’s been great for me and my spelling and learning of new words, buy blogging I was just over at Adoro te Devote and she wrote a blog that was great. I have had to go and look up a word. The world was “discourse” I did find it and I now know what she was saying. Man my reading teacher who has no clue I write a blog would be so happy about me looking up a word.
I know it’s not that big of a blog but the little things in life make me happy and make me smile!!!