We have no hot water for a week. I am going to mom and dad’s to get a shower in at night. If we wont hot water we need to boil water or put it in the microwave. This whole thing takes me back to a memory of living in California when I was a little girl. My parents had button a new house and we had to move in even though other houses were not ready to be lived in. Our house was sold and we had to get out.
In the new house we had no power for the house. So Mom, my sister, and I had to go to the babysitter’s house and take showers. Dad got his at work. Back to the not having hot water this week. I had to go to my parents house to get my shower in tonight. I do not know what the morning is going to be like. I need my shower to wake me up.so if I live through this whole thing it will be a good thing.
I did it, I got through this day. I know that I need to look at this day as just any day for me. So for this year I have faced this day and it’s one more year down and out. I know that this day is the day that I said that I was talking for those who could not. If anyone out there had been abused from this doctor and could not speek for them selfs I was the one that would do it. I am a “Soukup” and my family will not take anything lying down. It was something that my family has instilled in me. I never thought that I would still be hurting from this one thing in my life that was over 4 years ago. So as I said at the beginning one more year down and out. I will keep trying to get past this very hard time in my life.
I have not been able to write like I use to be able to write when I first started this blog. When I was younger I blogged as a new way to tell my story. I was still very young and I didn’t really know what I was doing. As time has changed and life keeps moving forward. I have found other ways to talk, share, live, and love me. the first things is that I did start a new blog and I think that if you like reading this one you will love to see what I do on the other blog. The other blog is “One thought one picture” you can find it here. Through the past months I have been working on this blog. I have found a way to still do something that I like and keep my mind on not just work or things that drag me down. I think it has helped me in more ways that doing something that I love.
At this time though I will be able to tell you in my everyday life I am doing much more then just working and going to appointments and I love it. With the boyfriend working just a little bit more I have had to take on much more then what I would have done in the past. I have found that I love to cook. I have been able to make some of my mom’s recipes things that bring me happy memories from still living at home.
I also got really sick this past winnter. I mean really sick I had to stay at home for a week. I thought I was going out of my mind with the staying at home. Even doing that I was starting to remember when I was in the High School band and if one person went down we all went down. Life was hard when I was young, NOT.
I am also going through some changes in my own life. As my mom would say and some of the doctors say growing pains
This week I have been trying to say yes. I am a person that will always say no right away. So for a week or so I am going to try and say yes. This is going to be hard but I think I will be able to do it.
As I was sitting at home again today, being sick still I got to thinking about how old I am right now and what do I have to show for it. Well, really there is not much to show for anything in my late 20’s early 30’s. I think that my whole life when I was still living at home had more things happen in it then the last 10 years of my life. I was much more out going then I am now. I was a kid that went and did things just for doing something. Now I have to make sure that all meds are taken and all appointments are kept. At my age my mom had two kids and living in a new state. What have I done nothing. At my age my sister was married. What I have to show for it no marriage. My sister was also moving up a corporate latter. I am still sitting at a starting job.
I think some of this is just coming out because I’m sick. So just take it for what it is
I can’t believe that it’s been so long. I have been working on another blog that has gotten some new names here and there. As of right now the blog is called one thought one picture. I started this blog back in Nov of last year. I have been taking a picture a day and putting it together with a thought I really like it and it’s something new that I get to do every day. My Health has gotten so I can keep all things lined up and moving together. The winter has not been that great to me and I know it and God knows it also. As I write this right now I can say that it is snowing out and it’s April.
So why am I writing this blog post? Well who would think that I would be happy to be sick? This kind of sick I will take over anything of the EMDR, cerebral palsy, and any of the other many things. You see I have strep throat and a sinus infection. Two things that know one really would like to have, right. I don’t even want them it’s taking me out of work and if I don’t work then I will not get paid. Well when I was in middle school and High school I would always get some kind of thing during the year, most the times it would come in the form of two somethings. I would have to take time out and get my body back together and so for me getting these two things is kind of nice. I’m learning how to deal with all the up and down of my life and my body is saying time to take five. Just like when I would get sick at school.
I can say that I’m starting to get back to normal. I had about 4 weeks of none-normal time. During this time I was off a med that I thought I was taking. I truly believed I was taking it but some how I was not. So now that I have it in my body I can now say that my normal is starting to be good again. Being none-normal was really hard for me and for people around me.
My normal is not like most people’s normal. I still don’t work an 8 hour day. However, with all the things that I do in one day it feels like I’m working 8 hours. I don’t have kids some times I wish I did but not at this time. I am still not married and some times that is good. So now you know what I don’t do the things that normal people do. Let me tell you all the things that are very normal for me.
I get up at 5:30 am breakfast is always the same. I get my lunch together for the day, Listen to the news for a bit then it’s off to work
I’m at work at 7:30am no coffee I can’t stand the stuff. Do the things for the mornings. I love dead lines. People start coming in at 8 am, some times I have time to talk and other times it’s all work. Lunch is great because I get to see some of my friends at church.
I’m done at work at 2pm, and some days I have appointments at 2:45, on those days I have to move quickly to my car to get on the road at 2:08. Other days I can move a bit slower the appointments don’t start until 3:00
I’m in appointments until 4 or 5 depending on where I have to go.
I’m back on the road no later than 5 and them home at 6.
Some nights I just come home and sleep until 5:30 the next morning. This is not true most nights but I’m done with my day almost all nights. I take about an hour to two for just me. Then I start getting ready for the next day. With my meds I try to start moving to bed at 8:30 or 9:00. I am not sleeping until 10:00. If the night was good I will start the next day at 5:30 am but if the night was not so good I can try really hard to move the next day. So that is what i call a normal day. It is not always the same but I think you get my Idea.
With my days the way they are can’t have a med problem and that is what I had for 4 weeks. I really didn’t know what was going on. When I did figure out what was going on it was great but my body had to get use to the med again. I’m still having some hard days with that but it’s so much better.
Normal is a good thing!!