Just a thought that has been on my mind

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Life has so many paths on it, and how are you to know what one is the right one. I hope I pick the right path, but what if the path that I pick is wrong. How do you go back and change what you have done. Can you go back to the spot and change  your mind? Some one told me that your life is always going to have a “Y” in the road. You are always going to pick from two things and what you pick is going to help you or harm you. it will make your life’s path better or not.  No one can be on the same path with you. Yes they can be walking with you for a time. Yet, your path is going to move or their path is going to change the “Y” in their path is going to come up and they are going to need to pick for them self what way they go.

I was adopted and my mom and dad helped me grow up. There path was my path. They gave me tools to help me on my own path. I learned to walk and talk and I went to school. So I am now making a small path of my own. As I grown up and now I have made a path of my own, yet they are still right there to help me make good and not so good decisions . I am learning to start doing things for my self, yet they still have me close to them, it’s the way of life. I can’t just go off and live on my own when I’m 15 years old. So some of the decisions  or the “Y” is my life are still made for me.

Now, when I moved out of my parents house that was my decision my own “Y”, I was now moving into my  own path. I was now on my own. I was going to make all my own decisions or I was going to make the right or wrong decision. All of the “Y’s” in my life were going to be on me. I hope that I got all the learning that my parents gave me when I was still on their path.

I found out that my path was not going to be anything that I was thinking it was going to be. There has been a lot of “Y’s” on this path of life that I really didn’t think I was going to have to do. Some of them are very good “Y’s” Like getting up to see my family in the summer. Going to see my sis and her family. All of these things are “Y’s” in my life. Some of the “Y’s” in my life have been hard to deal with. All of the Doctors that I see is something I do for me and my disability. So right there is about 5 or 6 “Y’s” in my life. I could say no I don’t need to see all the doctors and I’m not going to put my health in the front. But I do, put myself or my health in the front and every time I said yes or choics is another “Y” in my path.

The type of person that I am or the kind of person that my path has made me look down the path to plan. Lots of people don’t have to look down their path of life. However I have learned that I need to see the next “Y” on my path to be able to make a choice. these choices  that almost all people are just like a flip of a coin. In my life I can do that but I might be paying for it later, and knowing that sometimes is a good thing. Yet, on the other had It might not be something I am willing to pay for and so I don’t choose to go down they “Y’s”

Not being able to be in control of my “Y’s” is very hard and it’s almost like you are not having any say in your life. For example:

I can say that having to do the life altering thing in my life was the biggest “Y” that I have had to do in my adult life. Not being able to say what I needed to say at the trial was a “Y” that I didn’t have much say in. I really wanted to say the things in my own way but I could not. So having the “Y” taken away from me was a very hard time. And even now when I have to face some of the “Y’s” from that time in my life are hard and I don’t want to have to go down that path again. Yet, now I have another person to help me go down that “Y” with me  like a friend, family member, a love one, or a doctor. They can help me, like when I was little and my parents help me make my path.

What I am trying to say is that my path is my own. I have to make my own choices. I have to go down my path with what I know and what I believe. I am the only one that can go down my path. Like I said before there are people in your life that will aways be around and their path will come and go and that’s OK. Yet, at the end of the day your path is yours and you make it what you want it to be.

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