I have to say that I’m going to be back to “normal” for me at least. Next week I will be able to get to the pool again. I know this is what my body needs for the change of the weather. So it will be so good, to get back to just being one with my self.
I would like to take time and tell you and myself all the good things that I have been doing. So are small things and some are big things.
1 I went to a new doctor this past friday.
2 I’m learning more and more about BIC
3 I can stil stand up for my self when people talk badly about my family
4 I have been able to keep all appointments for the last month
5 I started to go to a group that.
6 I went out to dinner with them after group
7 I have been working hard to get to work more and more
8 I have been still going to church down town
9 I am blogging again.
10 I have been able to keep going when there is change around me
So I could keep going, on about what I have been doing. It just has been time to look back and see what I have been doing good at. I know I am a person that likes to look at the bad things but really with out bad things then there is no good things.
So you might be thinking what is normal for Mary? Well really it’s more like doing the things that I know I need to do for me. Yes I understand that all the things that I do are important to my health but I have not been to the pool in a very long time. I hope that they are still around.
Other things that make my life normal is that I don’t feel like I’m making waves. This is a hard thing for me. I’m working on it, I have found that I am not showing how hard things are going but when I can’t take it anymore, you don’t want to be on the other side of me. I just let it all out, and you might not have even done anything wrong.
The best thing of normal I will never get back and I’m learning that. If I could go back in time it would have been to the year 1998. It was the year that my family moved for the last time as a family of 4. My life was so much different then it is now. Yes there would have been no great Boy friend or going up to the cabin or any bank job.
This is the hard thing and it would have been do you go back to that time when life was so good or do you go to today when so much has changed. A doctor who hurt me in so many ways. Having a reaction to a drug that was so bad that life was stopped and taken away from me. Having to see so many doctors. Learning that my disability is much bigger then I thought it was going to be.
So there are days that normal is easy to define but there are days were normal is very hard to define. This is problely the same thing that everyone goes through in their life.