It’s been a bit but I would love to go back in time and let you read a post from long ago

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Let me take you back to Feb 9 2009. The post was called The word is red. If you don’t read this post please go back to it and read it. I have been looking for this post for a bit now. Times have changed and people have moved on. Doctors have also changed in many ways. Life has moved on. I wrote that post in 2009 and today it’s dec 2010. So there is so much that has changed in my life. However, The word “red” is still a very big part of my life. Now even more than before. I have so much that is going on in my life that people who don’t see the hurt that I have every day is hard to deal with. So let me tell you about my days now. Lets use the word “Cold”
On any day I will get up to go to work at 5:45 am. the word is cold. I have to get myself up and moving to get in the shower. the word cold. Get out and dressed for what my body will let me put on. I will eat my breakfast and get my snack together. cold I have to get to the point were I need to see what the weather is going to be. I also need to ask myself do I have the right meds, do I have to put more clothes on. Where am I going this afternoon after work. The word cold, cold. cold.  Do I have things that I need to take to the appointment this afternoon and if so what do I need. I get all of that and then by 6:45 I’m trying to leave for work. the word. I get to work and I need to be able to talk to my co-workers even if I would like to just me quiet for the morning. (the word is?)
I work in the basement and it’s colder down there. However I still need to work even though it’s cold. what is the word. When It’s time to go I have to remember where I’m going. What appointment is happening today. What is happening tomorrow. What is happening  at the end of the week. the word. Does today have any in packed on what is going on this week. (cold, cold)
I get to the appointment and do what I need to do. I have a hard time staying here in the moment because what is going to be going on tomorrow. the word, I get done and come home I crash because I am hurting more than every. I don’t eat dinner tonight because sleep is so much more importend to me. The word is. . .
Before I sleep for the night. I think of that word and pray that the night will be a good one, because tomorrow I will have to do all this again.
So as I wrote this post I was trying to show you even though I look very good on the out side. I’m always thinking of what is going to be going on.  It’s hard to show people how I do it but I have tryed. And this is on a good day so just think of what it would be like if I was having a bad day. the word cold would be every other word in this post.
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2 responses »

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