Can’t believe that I am having a hard time with this

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As you guys know, my department moved into the basement. I have had to learn how to work with new people. That is not the part that is hard for me. I can talk the talk very well. I can be me and be just fine. I think my co-workers that have come down with me have helped me to be as comfortable as I am now. I have had the time to talk to the new boss and he is really good. He knows all the things that he needs to know about me. I come and go as I would normally do.

Here is the problem.

One of the new people who I work with is very out going. I like her as a person that I work with. But I’m not to the point were I can tell her all my ups and downs. She asked me a questions that I just did not know how to tell her what she needed to hear but not tell her everything. This is so not me.

I know I have appointments that I need to go to but at the same time I feel like some of them are because of the life altering thing that has happened to me. I feel very used and I don’t want her to know about it. I feel like she would label me. There is just something that I am not willing to talk about yet.

I thought that it would be an easy thing to move down stairs. But it’s not as easy as I thought it was going to be. It’s not just because of that life altering thing. It’s because of the disability. I really hate the cerebral palsy. If I was only as strong as I was at one time I would not care about the disability or the life altering thing. This is just driving me up the wall. If I was not on LTD like I am it might not be a big thing for me. But I kind of stick out when I go home. And let me tell you that when I leave work I don’t always go home. I’m off and going to an appointment or two.

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