(Pre trial) a year later

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As I sit here at work and I think to my self what really happened a year ago? Have I been able to move past the bad stuff? Can I talk about it more now and not tear up right away? Do I get mad at myself for not doing more? Am I able to see the light at the end of the tunle? Can I go to church and not feel like I failed? Can I say to myself that God let this happen to me because he was trying to teach me something? Again I have to say have I been able to move past this very big thing?

For most of these things I can say I am working on them. For some of them I can say I have changed the way that I have lived my life. For others of them I can say I’m still in the same spot that I was a year ago.  I really feel like I am not moving at all with that one. 

As the day goes on I can feel the stress level  going up and the feeling of  worry is starting to move. I felt like I had it under control but I don’t any more. Thank you God for letting me have EMDR today.

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