I had another post traumatic stress momment

Standard

I hope that one day I can say that I can get past the PTSD. yesterday I had this moment happen to me again. I was at church and some one that was not father was not saying the homily And with the PODS That I have the man who was saying the Homily it just made me go bake to the place where it all started. If you doing get what I am talking about I would say go back to anything with “life altering”  and you will know just were it all started.

So I hope that one day I will be able to stay at church why this man is there and saying the Homily. That is a good goal for me. I might not be able to do a lot of things that I have done in the past but as the old work coaches would have said let’s just take baby steps. Right now it’s going to be all about baby steps. it’s going to be hard and it is going to be hard but I know that they believed that I could do anything and I still believe that. Even the times that I didn’t think I could do it they believed in me.

However, can some one tell me how long this Post traumatic stress is going to last. I hope it will go away soon. There are days that I feel like I can’t go on. I feel like he has gotten me. I feel like life can’t go on. Then there are other days that I feel like I can take on the world. That what he did to me was a thing. And I can’t let “a thing” change my life. It’s not a person, it’s not a living thing. I can’t let it hurt me any more. Yet why do if I find it to be so much bigger then it really is.?

Advertisements

2 responses »

  1. Rather than trying to look to the point that this will go away (it may never fully disappear), rejoice in the baby steps as you make them. Don’t let anyone make what happened to you smaller than it is to you.

    If it’s still fresh and painful, own it, don’t shy away from it. Accepting that you will have hard days is what helps you get through them as they start to dissipate.

  2. I would have never thought of that. Yes, I understand it might not ever go away. I do know that setting little goals for myself has all ways helped me with getting through challengeing times. So I have set out to do just that.
    One go to church and not feel worried about who is saying mass
    Two if he is saying mass stay through the Homily
    Three if he is saying mass stay through the homily and look at him
    four do number three and stay for the blessing of the eucharist
    Five do number four and go and get the eucharist
    six do number five and stay for the hole mass

    I know that this is going to be hard and it’s not going to be a next day kind of thing but I hope that I can do it one day. And let me tell you that if I can get all of this stuff done you my friend will be the first to know.

    As for the PTSD I would hope and pray that one day it will not be as bad as it is right now.
    (just got back from Doctor 🙂 )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s