It has been a very long week and I still have to get through Friday. I think that is going to be the harder of days this week. Yes I know Fridays are support to be a good day for working people but This Friday I am losing my work coach. This is the hardest thing ever so much has changed through the time that I have been able to work with her I don’t know what I’m really going to do. She was and will all ways be the best person ever. I will miss her dearly.
She got to see me at the lowest point. I started with her when my life changed. That would be the trial. I know that I have said this time and time again. But it’s what is on my mind and my hart. So that is what I’m writing about, Ok back to what I was saying she came in my life when I was in a time that if I had to go back to just to “keep her” I would. I’m going to miss her so much and now I feel so all own again. The feeling is just like taking me back to right after the trial. It’s almost like the feeling the day after when I didn’t know were I was and who was going to be there to help me pick up the peaces. I thought I was going to have to go through it allown. I had so much to pick up. I didn’t even know were to start. You know, one of the first people that I called was the work coach and MRC. I just did not know were I could go. I felt like I was not my self. The work coach came in and got down and helped me pick up my life and try and put it together. She helped keep me in line at work and she also helped with things that know one could help me with. Yes, there were many people around that tried to help. But it was her that kept me going. It was hard at times and I know she new about how hard it was but now looking back it was just a blink of an eye the time that she and I worked together.
Who would have been there to help me figure out what EMDR was. Well, she new all about it. She got me. She understood the times that I did not know what was going on. She could see what the EMDR was doing for me. it was great to know that I was not going out of my mind when things were not going right. Or, if I really didn’t have anything good to say. She got it.
So after Friday I will be all own again. Facing the world with just the things that she and the first work coach has helped me learn. I just am having a hard time with letting go. I would do what I always do and just close my eyes and then it will not happen. However, I can’t do that I need to keep them open so I don’t run into something.
So, now I need to go to bed and hope Friday doesn’t come. And if it dose if it could be nice to me.