Today was Thanksgiving here in the USA. I spent the day with my boy friend. It was good to see them all. I think this year was much harder for me because it’s been one year scents I started the whole long road down the path of the trial. This is a long path, that I started now and will not come to an end until next May. There will be lots of one year ago this happend going on in my mind. So me being out of it on some days is going to be a very normal thing. Some days not as bad as others. However it will be really bad for some days.
So with many friends that I have I am trying to get through it. Right now I feel very much like I can’t do it. Yet, lots of people have said that it will be hard but you will be able to do it. They have said that it’s going to be that it’s one that I have to do by myself. (how would you like to hear that?)
Today as I was sitting at the table I was thinking of the many things that I have done for myself. I have been getting help with what the out come of the trial was. I am not as depressed any more. I have been able to feel like I am not keeping something to myself any more. I know lots of people have said to me that I look more like the old me or if they hear me they say my voice is back to me. (that will always bring a smile to my face.) So, to myself I am very thankful for getting myself back together.
Today was also a day that we “all” had to get through together with not having my boy friends dad with us. We are still going through the whole first year with that one. Some of us are having a harder time with that then others. Yet, I think it was hard on every one but I think we did it. I was having a hard time because it was not my family that I was with. I tried not to look like I was not having a good time. But it was hard, and I was texting all day long.
Besides that thing at the boy friends, I would have to say that today my day was fair.
P.S I would like to say that I might be writing a lot about what I am feeling with it being one year ago I had pre-trial, trial and then post trial things going on. Or as I would say a “life altering” thing happen