I am very happy to say that I’m going to try very hard to not look back. What has happened to me is in the past. I have learned a lot of things about me from all the ups and downs. It’s time to look forward. It’s time to start helping myself get better and it’s time to help my boyfriend again. I can say that I’m going to see a new person for the trauma that is still going on. I was able to reach out and call the other person that this night mare has happened to. It was a hard call to do but I’m glad I did it.
I have also found out that I like to take pitchers. That is one thing that I have not been able to do, but on my trip up to the cabin I found my self trying to take pitchers of things. Being out side with the lake was always a thing that I liked to do. I would love to go and find a lake to just sit and look at.
You know I was not missing the computer as much as I thought I would have been. I did take two I pods with me and I think I listen to podcasts and also record little things here and there for my podcast. I found that to be a way to “say what I was thinking” was just as fun and helpful. So that was a way to keep me going.
Yes, I might look back and I might stumble and try and look back because it’s now a part of me. But to try and get on with my life is going to be a thing that only I can try and do. I know I will look back and get mad again. However I think that is part of the whole thing of life. I also think that meeting the other person will help me. I think that she will be helpful to me. In a way that we don’t have to walk all own for now.