a letter to me

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Dear Meme

As you know I have been trying very hard to listen to what you are saying to me. I feel that the letter that you wrote to me “I hope he angels are look ing out for me ” was very in site full I didn’t know that you were that up set, and that you felt that way about me. I hope and I pray that you will understand were I am coming from.
As a young child we needed to show the world that even though we have Cerebral Palsy with other disabilities that have happend because of it. We could not just be a child. Meme you have always been a hard person on your self and that is a very good thing for us. I have taken that on as I got older to be the best that I could be and much, much more. I think that is what happens when you get older? However because when you were a young child you had already put that on your self. I didn’t have to do anything when I got old, but I did.
We have had each other for so long. Even when I started to go to school we still had each other. I miss that. I’m trying to find time to just spend with you. It might not be the best time. and you know my body now. because you are part of my body and “we” just can’t do what we did before. I think you know that, but if you don’t. I will try and tell you. When we were little it was very easy to fall down and then just get back up. well now it’s not like that.
How do I tell you how much I need your youth right now. There are days that I feel like I’m about 80 years old. There are other days that I feel like I’m a young person again. I can’t do some of the many things that I could do before. Learning about my Cerebral palsy is hard for a older person. So I make this promise to you that when I get it I will try and explain it to you, OK.
Please, Meme give me this much. If it’s the only thing you can do at this time let me know that I have been trying very hard to teach you and show you what has been going on. I have not let you sit in a chair and cry. I was right there when you needed to cry. I cried with you. when you got something that you really wanted I was happy for you. It was so good to see you having so much fun on your Birthday. I know how hard it is to talk to sistor some times, and I was right there to hold your hand when you had to talk to her. I will keep trying to help you when you need it, however don’t cut me out yet.
If you have to go inside your self for a bit that is Ok but know that I’m right there if and when you need me. Remember that you have people that are willing to help both of us. And I’m willing to talk for you. and then tell you what I hear. Yet now that people know who we are doctoers, work coach, and even some of your family they might be able to talk to you. But “we” need to be able to listen to what they say, even if it’s hard to hear. I have been a bit better at telling people when we are not listening to people any more.
I think that is all I have to say to you for now. Know that I care for you and understand some of your hard times that you go through more and more. but I am hear for you.
Mary
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