I have moved all of my life. I should be use to it. I should be good at letting go. I should be good at seeing people come and go. It was three years ago that my mom and dad moved with out of there girls. It was very hard on me. Every move that we have done has been very hard. But the last move that my mom and dad did was very, very hard on me. However I got to the point were I know that there was a room for me if I had to run home. I’m glad I didn’t have to go home. I have been on my own for about 4 years now. but it’s still very hard to see them move again. And this time it’s not just a few streets away. It’s like 2 to 3 hours away.
There is no way I can go “home” They are moving up north and it’s even harder on me then I would like to say. I just feel like they are leaving me down here to fend for myself. Yes I have family and ever thing. However I just feel that I have missed the last 3 years and there is no way that I can get it back.
It’s hard to see things that we as a family have traveled with all over the country with now being sold or given away. Things that I have found that anytime I go to there house was there and now I don’t even know what they are taking or given away. I go to there house right now and I get nom. I have a hard time talking to them about some things about the move because I can’t even drive it myself. I get so lost and I don’t think they get it. I know that the b-friend has no clue what I’m going through. The only thing I get from him is “you always do this to your self”
Ok my family is much closer then his family will ever come. From living all over the place it was always just the 4 of us. and now it’s just me. I know most people would be very happy to be away from family and there mom and dad. But the way I was raised is just not that. I feel like a part of me is dieing.
My sister has her family and job and things to keep her busy. Mom and Dad are not going to be around. I just feel so bad about it all. I just feel that everyones life is going on and I am standing still, and watching life go past me.
The child with in me is crying. she is very confused and she doesn’t wont to have to do this again. she is up set that she can not show her true feelings. She is worried that she can’t do this by her self. She is feeling abandoned. She feels that if 1 thing starts to get better then 5 more things feel like they are falling apart.