The child with in me

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For the past few days, the child with in me has been very unhappy. The child with in me is the voice that will take me back to my childhood. It is part of me that dosen’t like the imperfection of my self.

It is the thing that talks to me and tells me what to do and not do. The child with in me has a name. Her name is Meme, This was my nick name as a yong child. I remember hearing Meme as a young child all the time. The reason why I had a nick name was because there were 12 Mary’s in our family at the time. My mom’s side of the family had a family member who’s name was Meme. So I think that was were Meme came from. The Meme in side of me is just fine there is nothing bad with her she is just the voice that talks and acts like the child who never got to talk, she was the mute person. As I got older she was were the parts of me went when I did not like what was going on. Meme just got to take it in. I have found that it was a way that I stuffed things. How ever stuffing things was very diffirent for me. I just gave it to Meme.

Now that I am learning all about my cerebral Palsy Meme is being looked at more and more. She is not happy about this because she has learned to just keep all the secrets to her self. How many secrets did I give her to keep? Well it’s just so many that I really don’t know. how ever she dose remember most all of them. However she dosen’t like to be talked to. It’s been 20 to 25 years that she has learned to keep her mouth closed. She dose have feelings just like everyone, but she never got to grow up so her feelings are like a childs. She also nows how to talk, she just dosn’t do it very offen, if she dose talk it’s to me and it’s in a very young girl who dosen’t know how to use “big people words” as she would say. How ever because I am trying to learn more about my Cerebral Palsy Meme is learning that it is Ok to talk to some people. She is starting to trust more people. Meme and trust don’t really mix, but that is the first thing that she needs to learn and I hope and pray that she will learn how to trust others also.
Another way of seeing Meme is that she is the part of you that helps you make the right and wrong decisions in life. and the part that you don’t wont anyone to know about. In my life she has just taken a bigger roll in it. 
 
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